It’s one those phrases that sends shivers down my back, you break up, you lose your job, someone gets sick, someone dies, and the person you empty your heart to, trying to say anything to make you feel better, tells you, “Things happen for a reason.”
Really? They do? So when my father passed away, there was a reason? And when I fell as a child and screwed up my knee up forever, there is a reason for that as well? And each time I’ve had my heart broken, and each time I failed at something in life, all for a reason. F that.
So here I am now, happy, so happy that I’m finding it hard to be as cynical as I like to be. Even typing this, a bit hard to do. Did it all happen for a reason? Over one hundred bad dates, two failed long-term relationships, many failed brief relationships. Would I have jumped to grab a beer with someone before exchanging any emails? Just a a quick “Hey, we live in the same neighborhood, want to grab a beer?” If I hadn’t just ended another failed beginning with someone else, would I have said yes. And what if he canceled that day, or I canceled that day, would we have met another time?
Our connection is undeniable. In both how we feel and how many links we’ve discovered. On top of his best friend from childhood, and my best friend from childhood being brother and sister, we constantly figure out new connections. His sister and my friend from college dated in high school. Another friend of his is my friends intern at the high school he went to. His sister works with another friend of mine. When he was a kid his parents looked at buying the house across the street from the house I grew up in. He lives 8 blocks from me, frequents the bars I do, and still we never met until our first date.
He is what I thought I’d never have. I’ve seen other people find it, just thought maybe it wasn’t in the cards for me. When we’re together it’s impossible not to smile. He makes me feel like I am the most important women in the world. For the first time in my life, in a relationship, I feel like I am with someone who loves me for who I am. He is sweet, considerate, handsome, thoughtful, and funny. He brings out the best in me and makes me want to be the best person I can be, and I can see I do the same for him. I feel a sense of ease and calmness when he’s around, that is hard to explain, but is the most wonderful thing I’ve ever experienced.
Things don’t happen for a reason, you give them a reason. I’m taking everything I have learned from all of my failed relationships and life mistakes and I’m being the best person I can be. More accepting, patient (probably the hardest), forgiving, understanding, selfless and loving. If I didn’t learn everything from failing in the past I wouldn’t be who I am today. And I wouldn’t be experiencing a love that I have never known before. I think that is a pretty good reason.